


Brown Onions

by gadverdanne



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale cooks!, Crowley is supportive, Fluff, M/M, loving reunion, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 10:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20329549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gadverdanne/pseuds/gadverdanne
Summary: Aziraphale is asked to cook dinner, as he loves food. He, however, has never cooked before in his life. Too scared to admit this and too flattered to have been asked he goes through with it.





	Brown Onions

Although Aziraphale loved eating food, he had never been particularly good at the whole cooking process. He preferred to eat out, mostly because the food was just a lot better. Today, however, things were a little different. Today was a special day. 

He'd collected all the cookbooks he could find in the shop, but everything seemed too complicated. Desperately, he started asking his acquiantances for advice. "Why not make a stew?" Anathema had suggested, but after she tried to give her best recipe, he gratefully thanked her for the idea. "Why don't you watch a tutorial?" Adam asked. Aziraphale had no idea what that was, so Adam happily pulled out his cellphone. 

"Look, you go to youtube-" "what's a yout-" "Don't worry you'll find it just type it in your browser, then you type the dish you want to eat, like 'shepherds pie' and-" "Oohh that does sound rather lovely" "Yes, and then you tap the search button and you get all these videos in which people explain how you make the di-" "Wow, all from that tiny screen! And you're sure this will make it easier?"  
Adam smiled weakly. "Yes, you can watch it again and again until you understand all steps, easy peasy."  
Aziraphale looked cautiously excited. "I'll let you know if this helps." He smiled warmly. 

Back at the bookshop, he dusted off an old computer. It hurt its hardware to start up Youtube, but once it worked he spent hours, days, maybe even over a week browsing those 'tutorials'. Finally, he found one that looked simple, yet tasty enough to make for the special occasion. After tackling this, the second problem arose.  
He had no kitchen so he couldn't practice, and the Day was coming up so soon. He had asked his dear friend Crowley if he could borrow his kitchen, but the reply had been "Nothing here is functional, except the coffee maker." They'd gone to lunch instead. He stared at the calendar nervously, trying to think of a solution. Then he recalled how Mr. Shadwell was treated by his lovely neighbour Madame Tracy, so he decided to ring her. Aziraphale being Aziraphale, he was already midway the story before the other person on the line could get a word in. Sadly, the number he had was no longer in use by Mdm. Tracy or Mr. Shadwell, but by a young couple. They'd just moved in. He apologised and briefly explained who he was looking for, but they had no clue. Exhausted from all the let downs, Aziraphale gave up for today. 

_________________

The next day was grocery day. Aziraphale had dreaded this day from the moment the idea came into his mind. He loved earth, he loved people, and he loved food, but the carts and the lines and the awkward passages of neighbours were just not for him, so he went to the calmest supermarket he could find. He pulled his shopping list from his pocket, grabbed a basket and prepared himself mentally. Then a familiar voice threw him off. 

Confused, he looked around. He couldn't quite place it, so he decided to shake it off. After collecting all the ingredients, he heard the voice again and suddenly realised whose voice it was. 

"Excuse me, miss, but is there any chance I accidentally called you?" He asked. The young lady turned around and smiled. "I believe you did. Did you find the right number?" "No, I'm afraid I didn't." He paused briefly. "Not that it matters now, the big day is today." He looked up and smiled. The lady looked at his groceries questioningly. "Are you making dinner for someone?" The angel smiled weakly. "Yes, you could say that. Though I've never done that before, I'm quite nervous." She nodded sympathetically. "I see. These ingredients... You're not planning on making Indian curry, are you?" This surprised Aziraphale. "Well yes, I am! Why you ask?" The woman smiled. "That's my specialty, can I give you some tips?" A wide smile appeared on Aziraphales face. 

They spent the entire afternoon discussing the dish, the traditional way, the new way, the I-can't-handle-my-spice-way, tips and tricks to make it as easy as possible for the insecure angel. They drank tea, ate biscuits and talked about their favourite foods until Aziraphale finally had to leave. He thanked her dearly for all the tips and tea and wished her well, she insisted on him calling her again to tell her how it went. He promised to do so, and left hurrily with all his groceries to catch his terrifyingly fast lift.

__________________

"So, what is it you're making?" Crowley asked curiously. "It's a surprise." Aziraphale answered. "But, if you really want to find out, you could be my souschef." "I don't know what that is, but it sounds like fun. Sure." And so Aziraphale told his plan. "I even used The Internet!" He stated proudly, which made Crowley grin. "So, you're gonna play that video in the kitchen?" He asked. "Yes, and I need you to pause it whenever that is necessary. After all, you don't make curry in ten minutes." 

Not much later, they arrived at the cottage where Anathema and Newton now lived. They didn't need to knock on the door, as they were expected. "Not in the witch way, you're just right on time." Anathema informed them when she opened the door. She hugged Aziraphale warmly and gave Crowley a hesitant kiss on the cheek. "Take all the time you need for the cooking, and if you need any help just ask!" she smiled as she showed them around in the kitchen. "We'll be fine, thank you." Aziraphale answered. Crowley handed him the basket with groceries and he started to unpack carefully. 

"Organisation is key in the kitchen." Aziraphale explained wisely. It was one of the tips the kind lady had given him and he had taken it to heart. Slowly but surely the countertop started to fill up. Rice, tomatoes, garlic, lots of spices and some vegetables came out of the basket one by one. Once all the ingredients were ordered accurately, he started his mis en place. He, of course, pronounced this horribly when he explained Crowley what he was doing, which almost made him spit out the wine he started drinking prematurely. He started fumbling with his phone, looking up the video for his best friend. "Are you ready?" Aziraphale nodded enthusiastically. "Let's begin!"

__________________

Crowley looked inside the pan with slight concern. "I think he said brown the onions, not burn them." Aziraphale glared over his shoulder angrily. "Oh shut it, it will be fine." The onions were looking more black than brown, but still smelled quite okay. "Okay, now we just add the garlic an- oh god, it burns immediately." Aziraphale starts to panic and not knowing what to do, he throws the hot pan in the sink and turns on the tap. "I wouldn-" Crowley tried to warn him, but the small explosion had already happened. They both sink to the ground from shock. Aziraphale holds his breath in an attempt to pull himself back together when Anathema enters the room. 

"What happened here?" She gasped, although this was exactly what she expected from them. The ashamed angel leans up a bit and starts explaining. "Well, I, errr, you see, heh, it's rather funny actually. I was just eh, browning the onions and then-" Crowley gently cobs his shoulder and takes over. "We thought the best way to cool down the pan with burnt onions and garlic in it, was to pour water in it. That, however, turned out to be a disaster." Anathema sighed, then smiled empathetically. "No worries, I have more onions if you need to start again. And if you want some help, please, ask for it." She walked towards the sink to clean the slightly burnt pan and put it back on the furnace. "Ready for another round." She turns around and sees the two immortals still on the ground, slightly shook. "Are you guys okay?" 

Aziraphale takes a deep breath and pulls himself together. "Tickety-boo, love." Crowley stands up and holds his hand out to pull the angel up as well. "Take two." He grins. 

This time the onions turn perfectly brown. "Okay, now it's time to add your spices. Don't forget to add some water, so the mixture isn't too dry." A gentle voice says from the telephone. Crowley hands Aziraphale the bowl with the premixed spices, and a small glass of water. "See, I can be useful." He jokes. 

_________________

The doorbell rings, and the other guests arrive. Mr. Shadwell and his jezebel walk through the door, quickly followed by a small Dog. Not much later the Them follow too. "I can't believe it has been a year." Newt sighs when he sees all of them together. Dog barks at him. The table is set, though it barely fits in the tight cottage. Anathema had made some appetizers earlier, so the group has something to nibble on as they wait for the treat that is dinner. 

"Crowley, could you cook some rice?" His request was answered with a questioning look. "Cook the what?" Aziraphale sighs. "Ask Anathema. I'm too busy stirring." He said cockily. "You know it will never cook if you keep stirring it like that?" Crowley mocks, though he gets ignored completely. "It's almost done. I just know it." Crowley had to admit, it smelled pretty good. Whenever they went out for lunch, he didn't eat much. He mostly sipped some great wine and looked at his angel enjoying this human fuel. But, since Aziraphale put so much effort in this, he had to finish a plate, at least. He shook away the thought and went to do what he was told.

"My god, seriously? You've never cooked rice?" Anathema snapped. "In my defense, I don't have to eat." Crowley bit back. "Okay, I'll show you how." She quickly grabbed a pot, put the kettle on and poured some rice in the pot. Then, she added a pinch of salt. Crowley looked at the scene in awe. "Now you just wait for about ten minutes." She said after pouring the water in. She glanced at how Aziraphale was stirring the curry and decided she trusted him, for now. "Just give us a shout when it's ready." And she was gone. 

_________________

The next ten minutes were quite peaceful. No explosions, burning or panic. Just two pots boiling peacefully and an angel and a demon having friendly banter. "I don't think the exploding pan is a good alternative for your flaming sword, to be honest. We need to think of something new." Crowley joked, and Aziraphale cracked an embarrassed smile. A timer rang. They both decided that meant that the rice was done, so they did their best to drain the water that was left in the pan. Then, Crowley had the humble task to call everyone for dinner. He, of course, couldn't resist a little theater. 

Wearing a chefs hat and holding the rice high, he kicked open the kitchen door and shouted "Dinner's rEADYYYYY" while behind him, Aziraphale stood, proudly holding the pan filled with curry. The crowd looked at them, laughing shyly, except for Mr. Shadwell, who just sighed at the sight of the two peculiar Southeners. 

They gathered around the table. Before they could dig in, a speech just had to be made. Newt stood up and said "Well, I think we're all pretty sure we don't really understand what happened a year ago exactly, but I believe this team of misfits saved the world?" He pauses a moment to look around and laugh weakly. "Anyway, I'm proud of us. And grateful, since I met this wonderful woman that day." He turns to Anathema. "Believe it or not, but a year ago was the first day I felt useful for, well, being terrible. You're amazing, thank you." They smile at each other, and he leans down to kiss her. 

"Ugh, gross!" Adam and Crowley scoff at the same time. The whole table starts to laugh. "Well, let's eat!" Newt concludes. Plates get passed around, wine bottles are opened, stories are shared. To everyones surprise, the food is great. With each compliment, Aziraphale blushes a shade redder. "Well, I had a lot of great help." He looks at Crowley, but also thinks of the kind lady in the supermarket. Gratefully and content, he takes another bite. 

After dinner, they left one by one. Newton thanked Aziraphale dearly for his effort, and Anathema gave him a playful wink. She had decided to keep the incident a secret, which he appreciated dearly. They shared a warm hug while saying their goodbyes while Crowley waited impatiently, and off they went. "Next year it's someone elses turn to cook, we're not doing this again." Crowley stated. 

Aziraphale agreed strongly.


End file.
